Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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