Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
