remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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