I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
