We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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