We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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