Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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