The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
