Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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