Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
