anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
