explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
