My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
