What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
