i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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