..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
