I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
