Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
