your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
