don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
