Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
