I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
