Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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