? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
