I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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