escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
