woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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