He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
