So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
