yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
