If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
