I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
