But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
