I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
