i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
