Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize