You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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