with your own penis?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize