i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
