Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
