Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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