grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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