so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
