Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sext me about skeletons
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize