he wants to bone in the snuggie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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