This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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