note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
