I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A+ Viking dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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