Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
