I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
