is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
