do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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