it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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