i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
