I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
