Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
