So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
