i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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