Just cropdusted the office
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
