Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
