Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's blow job season.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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