they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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