I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
