I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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