I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
