I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
