In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
