Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
