I hope mine doesn't look like that
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
