At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize