good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
