oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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