She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
