Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
