Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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