This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
