Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just gift wrapped bread.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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