Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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